Uh, e.oneohfive?

e.oneohfive is sassweb.ca's PHP-based page rendering script. It provides the site with a dynamic and highly-customizable interface system. It also has a VERY CUNNING NAME.

Basically, in plain English, it's the programming code that assembles all the cool paraphernalia around the actual meat and potatoes of the site. Additional scripting does other nifty things to provide the meat and potatoes with functionality and flexibility, but we feel that dynamic equipment is nothing without a pretty face.

e.oneohfive had a somewhat drawn-out birth, though the core of its code pretty much came into being on a Sunday afternoon in March 2002 that might have been better-spent in the sun outside. Other aspects of sassweb.ca's development were somewhat slower. In fact, most were. On the positive side, you can now surf this site secure in the knowledge that the precise colouration of each section was subjected to only the highest levels of quality-control. And the site name? Whooo boy.

As far as furthering your knowledge of extraneous details is concerned, it might be worth pointing out that physically sassweb.ca is a terrfically cosmopolitan website. (One might even say it's multinational and globalized.) The site presently "lives" outside the choking bedlam of Hamilton, preferring the fragrant dells on the outskirts of St. Catherines. But, at least as of this writing, in order to do the whole überdorkiness that is DNS lookups, we have a satellite operation in New York. (If logging onto site is ever a bit slow, we suggest you blame Canada Customs for holding up your data packets.) And we can't help but point out that our friendly domain name registrars are from Chilliwack BC. Chilliwack. Let it never be said that we didn't roam all corners of the Earth looking for someone who'd register the website name cheaply. [Editor's note: As of 2007, the sassweb server is no longer in St. Catherines but in Utah. Really, I think that's just as amusing.]

Very few fancy-shmancy software tools were used to make this site. Fewer still were paid for.

A quick word on how the interface appears and what browsers we recommend. It turns out that all Mozilla-based browsers (this includes Netscape) tend to shit a brick when they see lots of HTML tables and decide that unless they are laid out according to their exacting standards they'll just chew them up and spit them out as it strikes their fancy. (What those exacting standards are is somewhat hard to establish, as we can't seem to find anything in our code that isn't kosher.) Now the super-l33t web designers will glare at us and tell us that we're misusing tables anyway, and that they shouldn't be the basis of a website interface anyway. And we'll meekly nod, and say that someday we'll switch over to DHTML or XML or some other language named after a random series of keystrokes. But for the time being, much as it pains us to say so, Microsoft Internet Explorer appears to be the way to go to ensure things don't look too ugly. Of course, statistically speaking, you're probably already using it. We can all be evil together. [Editors note: This paragraph is now irrelevant. Use Firefox. It's just better and safer.]

Interface-wise, if you're using 640*480, we can suggest a large variety of hardwoods that you should be taken outside and paddled with. 800*600 should work OK, but 1024*768 and above is our recommendation. Of course, if you're one of those crazy people who think that clearly they can obtain instant coolness by cranking their resolution all the way up to something obscene, be our guest, but can't be held liable for any confusion on your part between our site and an airport runway as seen from 20,000 feet up.

Anyway, thanks for bearing with us, and enjoy your stay.

Or else.